Imaginary play

After returning home from a busy day filled with school, a playdate and swim classes, LittleMan, BoopaLoop and I escaped from eachother each decided to do our own thing. About 5 minutes into my blogging housework, LittleMan ran over with a huge MegaBlock/Lego monstrosity that vaguely resembled a large monstrosity rocket ship.  We then had this conversation:

LittleMan: "Look mom! It is a spaceship."

Me: "Wow! It is really big."

LittleMan: "Yeah! Flip it over!"

Me: [Flipping it over] "Oh look. It has huge holes underneath."

LittleMan: "Yeah."

Me: "You know what that can be used for? Out in outer space there might be a little spaceship in trouble, and the big spaceship can fly over the little one and suck it up in these holes. Then after depressurizing, the people on the big ship can repair whatever is wrong with the little ship."

LittleMan: [Looks far off in the distance.]

Now, I will grant you that half way through my explanation of what the big holes on the bottom of the ship were for, I probably lost my son (and most of my readership).  I certainly lost him with the word "depressurizing". However, my family has given this far-away look my son gets on his face the apt name "downloading". You see LittleMan has this uncanny ability to look like he is not paying the least bit of attention to what you are saying, but he is in fact storing the data for later use. Hence, the term downloading. I wasn't certain he was downloading at this time. After reading this conversation, I'm certain you could understand why it is he would tune me out. But then this happened...

LittleMan: [Returns his attention back to me, he flips the spaceship back over / top up] "Mom, see these holes?"

He is pointing to the holes that are on the top of the MegaBlock Lego-things.

Me: "Yes."

LittleMan: "This is where the water comes out to put out the fire on the little spaceship."

Me: "Oh. Well that's a good idea, but there isn't any oxygen in space."

Imagine a detailed description of what oxygen is, what it is we breathe, karate (just because it is cool), fire, and space.

Me: Summing up, "...so you see there is no oxygen in space."

LittleMan: "We can pretend there is."

Me: "True."

BoopaLoop: "Look at what I made."

BoopaLoop is holding a long strand of 2x2 MegaBlock Lego-things put together to form a very unstable yet functional staircase.

Me: "Wow, that's cool."

BoopaLoop: [Sets the staircase on the seat next to me.]

I then use my two fingers to form the universally understood walking man to climb the staircase. I do this while singing "Mr. Sandman".  Don't ask me why that song, but it turns out to be a very good choice.

Me: "Mr. Sandman bring me a dream.

Boom boom boom

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen.

Boom boom boom

AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH"

Because, Mr. Finger-Walking-Man naturally fell to his death after reaching the top of the staircase. My daughter looked at me with an unreadable expression and blinked twice while my son was laughing uncontrollably. I'll be paying for her therapy later.

Fun Quiz

Thanks to All Things BD and Mama DB I was curious to see my results.  I would definitely say this is how I see myself, but I'm curious to know whether or not this is how I'm perceived.

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Katharine!

 

 

You are a Katharine -- "I am happy and open to new things"

 

Katharines are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.

 

 

 

How to Get Along with Me   

• * Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.   
• * Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.   
• * Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.   
• * Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.   
• * Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people.   
• * Don't tell me what to do.

 

 

What I Like About Being a Katharine   

• * being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down   
• * being spontaneous and free-spirited   
• * being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.   
• * being generous and trying to make the world a better place   
• * having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures   
• * having such varied interests and abilities

 

 

What's Hard About Being a Katharine   

• * not having enough time to do all the things I want   
• * not completing things I start   
• * not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career   
• * having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies   
• * feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship

 

 

Katharines as Children Often

• * are action oriented and adventuresome  
• * drum up excitement   
• * prefer being with other children to being alone   
• * finesse their way around adults   
• * dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up

 

 

Katharines as Parents   

• * are often enthusiastic and generous   
• * want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life   
• * may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Vacation Blues...

I have been away from my kids and hubby for 8 days now, and it has been the longest I've been away. I miss them terribly, but I'm feeling pretty maudlin about it all. I will be leaving my best friend (sister-in-law), my brother and my two nieces here in Texas tomorrow morning, and I will miss them terribly too. This usually happens to me at the end of a lovely vacation.  I've loved my time away, but I miss my family, so I'm usually stuck in this emotional limbo of feeling neither excited or depressed. It isn't as if I'm feeling nothing. I'm feeling both equally. It is a little exhausting, stressful, and exciting-depressing.

So tomorrow in the morning I will bid adieu to my beloved family in Texas, and run into the (hopefully) open arms of my children and hubby. It has been a wonderful vacation. I'm happy-sad to see it end.

Free-Enterprise Friday

I am going to dedicate Fridays posts to sharing little tid-bits of amature-business wisdom with the two people who asked masses. This will not be a post advertising my specific company. You can always read my company blog for that thrilling information. However, if you are thinking of inventing a new product, I can share with you exactly how NOT to do it I did it. Hopefully by reading this, you will see something that I have missed, or get inspired to create that product you have been obsessing about for a while. So starting next week, I'll begin with the beginning!

Insanly desperate or Desperately insane?

I can't figure out how to keep my socks from disappearing.  I know about dryers, and their conspiracy to horde all socks for some kind of lint-cleaning-convention, but what is my excuse for losing my socks in other locations? Arguably, my underpants are smaller than my socks, so I should be losing them left and right.  Right? Yet, somehow I'm only losing my socks!  I'm losing them in the living room; I'm losing them in the bedroom; I'm losing them in the KITCHEN for crying out loud.  Seriously, what is the deal?!

I'm tried of it, I tell you! I have had enough!! I am sick of putting up with wearing mismatched socks that are two halves of my favorites pairs! I think I am going insane.

please. please. please little sock fairy. bring me back my socks.

I was young (I needed the money...)

One of my nieces is watching that painful-yet-laughable cartoon "Dungeon And Dragons". You remember - the 1980's cartoon featuring annoying high school kids sucked into a fantasy vortex (naturally). Okay, you probably don't remember, but it was not good. The show lasted one season, if that. I LOVED it as a kid, but I knew it was hopelessly bad. Now, my niece loves it. I don't have the heart to tell her that it. is. a. bad. show. I can't do that to her.

I recently watched a couple of my favorite childhood movies only to discover how really bad they are, and I am just not the same. It is like learning that the Easter Bunny isn't real again. Actually, one of the movies is just bad, but the other is so bad that it is actually kind of entertaining, which salvages my childhood memory a little.

The first movie that is just plain bad is "Fame". The scene I remember loving is the one where Debbie Allen stomps her dancing-stick-thing on the dance floor and says something like, "...and right here is where you'll pain and sweat."  Well guess what?  That's not in the movie!  Uh-uh - that line is from the TV show (which I also loved, by the way). After watching "Fame", I realized that this movie was just a launching pad for the TV show. There is no other excuse for all of the dangling story lines and unfinished business. The teenage actress who does a topless shoot? Seemingly unfazed afterwards. The teenage prodigal pianist? Never shares his incredible music. The awkward girl? Experiments with drugs but... nothing. Every single storyline goes nowhere! UGH! It is BAD.

The second movie that is bad but entertaining in a hilarious way is "Xanadu". Wow, this is wildly horrible! The songs are hit and miss, the acting is a little painful to watch, but it has great sequences involving Gene Miller (poor guy) and Olivia-Newton John doing her singing thing. Throw in some roller skates and romantic chemistry, and you have yourself an entertaining movie.

I really don't think I should have rewatched these movies. When I saw that "Fame" or "Xanadu" were on the TV Guide List, I would get all giddy and remember how fond I was of them.  Now, that memory is tainted, and a piece of my childhood innocence is lost... or maybe I have finally developed some good taste.

In any case, I am not rewatching the TV show "Fame".

Weather - you like it or not

When I was 7 years old, my famiy moved from Massachusettes to Southern California. I remember mourning the loss of snow - by whining and insisting that Christmas was ruined with NO SNOW. WWAAAAHHHHHHHH!  I am certain it was a lovely trip for my parents - all 4 days of it.  We moved during the summer, and my sour mood quickly brightened when I realized the sun was always shining. AND I didn't have to wear a jacket EVER.

As I mentioned in my earlier blogs, I'm visiting All Things BD's family in Texas.  Today, it has been hot, sweltering, cold, rainy, WHO DUMPED BUCKETS OF WATER ON US, and thunderstorms. I have to say that Texas keeps you on your toes. I feel a little like my body is warping from the pressure changes.

Seeing the dark, ominious clouds move towards us at a high speed was an awesome sight to behold, I must say.  In Southern California, that morning you could have rain clouds with the weatherman saying that the chance of rain is 100%, and you have this huge, fat cloud over your head just sitting there.  48 hours later that cloud decides to drop its rain finally, and weathermen will say, "See?!".

I have to say I like that Texas weather changes so quickly.  As they say in Texas, if you don't like the weather, don't worry it will change in a few minutes.

However, I don't think I could take planning my tennis matches in this kind of chaos.

Birthdays and such

It is the end of my birthday-day, and my belly is full. Just when I thought life couldn't get any better, All Things BD hands me a bag full of goodness. Inside are a couple of frightening cards, a very touching friendship card, and a couple of the BEST cards ever from my nieces. Nothing says Happy Birthday quite like inspired, multi-colored kittens with wings and the words "Best Drawing Award". Awesome.

I also happened to score a great book and a couple of gift cards, which if you know me, know that I absolutely LOVE gift cards because I forget about them until I happen to be in that store reaching for my credit card to see that - NO! I don't have to pay! There is a handy-dandy little gift card right there!! I kid you not. My friends mock the fact that I salivate over gift cards but then forget them completely until random chance allows me to use them.

I can't help it. It is like finding cash in your pocket, or a chocolate bar you forgot you hid, or an old pair of jeans you forgot your owned. You may think I am kidding, but I really, REALLY am not. I'm that much of a freak. I genuinely forget I had a favorite pair of jeans (that I actually remembered to put it away) until I run out of clean jeans and rediscover them.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to me. I'm 21 for the 16th year, and I don't look a day over 40. And, I get to surprise myself with Starbucks and ITunes gift cards later. I am a happy girl.

Welcome to Blogger!

I am in Austin, TX visiting All Things BD, and I have finally decided to no longer be listed as Anonymous Tiffany Here. So here I am on Blogger, and I love it. Most of my posts will be about my children, and the properties of my children, and the anger or joy I have because of my children with a smattering of stories about marriage, failed cooking, tennis, starting a new business (Pick Up Palz), and other stuff.  Thanks to All Things BD and Mama DB for getting me on Blogger finally. I'm going to have fun connecting with crazy ladies like us.

Also, if you would like to see updates about my company, you can visit the company blog at PickUpPalz.blogspot.com. Thanks!

Attempts at learning

BoopaLoop has pre-school three days a week for 3 hours. On the other two days, she hangs out with me. We do some errands. We do some cleaning. We do some playing. We rarely do some teaching.

She is too similar to me in personality, so we get too easily distracted with being silly to dedicate a lot of time to serious learning. However, that does not mean I don't make the odd attempt here or there. Today was such an attempt.

I pulled out an old pre-school book that once belong to LittleMan.

Me - "Okay honey, this is a maze. Do you know what a maze is?"

BoopaLoop - Shakes her head no.

Me - "Okay, you need to find a way to get from the rabbit to the carrot at the end."

BoopaLoop - Starts drawing a straight line from the rabbit to the carrot going through all the walls.

Me - "Yeah, that's the idea, but you have to stay in the walls."

BoopaLoop - Stops drawing to listen to me.

Me - "See the walls? You have to stay in the walls and find a way to the carrot."

BoopaLoop - Starts drawing a straight line to the carrot again - through the walls.

Me - "Honey..."

BoopaLoop - Interrupts me, "I'm flying to the carrot."

Laughter

End Lesson

Tennis Tomorrow

I have a tennis match tomorrow, so I'll drink lots of fluids and gets lots of rest...

Is it a coinsidence that this is the same prescription for when you are ill?

The Usual Suspects

For those of you unfamiliar with one of the best movies ever, The Usual Suspects, I suggest you go rent it right now, and read this blog afterwards. Otherwise, this blog will mean nothing to you.

Today BoopaLoop and I were singing silly songs like, "My daughter has a turnip head - oooooohh turrrrrrrrrrnip head." Well, it was my daughter's turn to come up with a silly song, so she began:

"My mommy has a bunch of letters... and aaaaaaaa cup... aaaaannnnnddddd... aaaaaa... uh..."

What is she talking about? Letters? Cup?! Where is she getting these references? As she is struggling to come up with other nouns for her song, I notice that she is paying close attention to my shirt. I am wearing an Ireland shirt All Things BD bought me. My daughter was trying to make sense of the LETTERS that spell "Ireland" and various Irish symbols on my shirt - like a mug or CUP of ale. I gave her a hug and told her she did a great silly song, but then it struck me...

BoopaLoop is Kyser Soze.

Dead Zone

Whoa... what happened there?!

(cricket noises)

I haven't posted for a over a week, and that is not like me. I am gonna try to come up with a litany of excuses.

First, I was in Austin, TX from the 10th - 14th. Granted, I had Internet access, but All Things BD has a wonderous chaise and a half that reduced my brain to mush. For those of you inexperienced in art of the chaise, you are missing out. Call your friends and find one who owns a chaise chair, invite yourself over, and find a way to get your booty into it. It will change your world for the better.

Second, it was my birthday, and I turned 36... I think.  Let me count: 1971-2007... uh... 30, 31, 32, 33... yup, 36! Automatically, I should be forgiven anything for that fact alone.

Third, I returned home to my beautiful, sweet family (they look better when you have been away a while), but I had to leave half of my family back in Austin. My spirit mourned, and I was not in the best place these last three days.

Uh... that's it. So please forgive my lapse in writing. Cause if you don't... well, there is not really anything you can do about it.

Delaying tactics

For those of you with young children, you know that getting the children to go to sleep at night can be an event all on its own. Oh sure, you have read the books about keeping night-time to a regular schedule. You have gotten their pajamas on, you have read the books, brushed their teeth, said prayers with them, and maybe even gave them a bath or sang a song with them, but still the children have to go potty again or ask for a refill on their water cups.

LittleMan hit upon a most brilliant sleep-delay tactic last night with my Mukor. Our boy asked his father if God was dead. Being an intellectual and Christian, my Mukor was taken aback by the question. Not because it was offensive (oh, please) or unfounded, but because my Mukor couldn't believe LittleMan would ask such an insightful question.

A 1/2 hour later, my Mukor emerged from the kids' room smiling to himself. He then explained to me that eventhough he knew LittleMan had asked a question to delay sleep, the nature of the question gave my Mukor a glimpse of what the future might hold. Our children will challenge our beliefs, ask us whys and hows and cans, and my Mukor is really looking forward to these discussions.

My Mukor walked right into the sleep delay trap my son laid out, and I don't think my Mukor minded getting caught.

I didn't complain. LittleMan was out cold immediately after that.

Irresponsibility versus Heartbreak

For a while, my family has been hanging on to the chest-cold-cough for a while. Friends of ours, who have already gone through this illness, say that it is going to take about 6-8 weeks before the coughing will go away. My Mukor and LittleMan are on week 5, and BoopaLoop is on week 4. So far, (knock on wood) I have avoided this round of colds.

My mother is expected to visit tonight. She is driving 3 hours to come stay the weekend. However, at approximately 3 PM today, BoopaLoop started to act lethargic (thanks to Mama DB for the perfect word to describe her condition). Finally, at 6 PM she started to have a fever. I told my son that Grandma probably won't visit since his sister is sick. This news made my son cry. He loves my mom. I believe she is his best friend. Seeing his reaction, breaks my heart.

So, my mother calls to tell me that she is coming, and I DON'T TELL HER that BoopaLoop has a fever. I am afraid she won't come if I tell her.  I am a BAD, BAD person! My Mukor, sitting next to me, asks me why I didn't tell her about BoopaLoop's condition. I sigh, and say because I am a horrible person. In my gut, I know I just didn't want to break my son's heart.

I pick up the phone and call my mother back. I responsiblity inform her of BoopaLoop's fever, and tell her not to come. She thought about it and decided to come anyway. Apparently my desire to not break my son's heart is hereditary. We are hopeless.

The Truth Hurts

My daughter seems to be into everything involving dance at the moment, so I thought it would be fun to expose her to one of my favorite dancing shows, "Riverdance". I started the video curious to see her reaction to it. When we were about 10 minutes into the video and my daughter appeared fully engaged with it, I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the show.

There is one part that has a lot of singing. I asked my children if it was okay for me to fast-forward this part. LittleMan said yes; BoopaLoops said no.

LittleMan - "Why do you want to fast-forward this part, mommy?"

Me - "I think it might be a little boring for you."

LittleMan - [Watches the video a little while] "I don't think it is boring."

I am pleased that my children seemed genuinely interested in this video, so I sat back again to watch.

After a few seconds...

BoopaLoop - "Maybe this video is boring."

She got up and left the room.

Joke

I was playing tennis at the invitation of a friend, and she introduced me to this lovely older gentleman. He introduced himself and then proceeded to tell me a joke. He seemed very friendly and nice, so I put on my best 'interested' face fully expecting to not like this joke. Pretty cynical, huh? Here is the joke he told me:

"A husband and wife were laying in bed one night. He was watching TV, and she was absorbed in a book. While the wife was reading, she was dimly aware that her husband was touching her calf. Soon, he was touching her thigh. Smiling, the wife continued to stare at the book. As his hand inched higher, the wife closed her book, but suddenly, the husband stopped. The wife looked at her husband, "Why did you stop?" The husband said, "What? Oh, I found the remote."

I love it.

How does it happen?

I consider myself a relatively neat person - not Grandma-can-come-over clean but the-kitchen-and-bathroom-are-tidy clean.  However, since the children have come along, our house is now littered with toys, and our backyard looks like 500 children deserted their toys at a playground. But, every few days we do a grand cleaning, and it looks relatively normal again.

What I don't understand is how my van goes from clean to "DID A TORNADO LAND HERE?" in under 60 seconds.

I think I have narrowed down my loss of control of the van cleanliness to one question my children always ask me, "Mom, can I please bring this multi-functional toy with many teeny tiny parts with me?"  And I say, "Of course, as long as you promise to pick up very little teeny tiny piece, arrange it properly back into place, and carry it back into our home."

Oh sure, for a while I'm really good about reminding the kids to bring the toy back into the house.  But, all it takes is that one time I forget, and I guess that's when the build up occurs.

Either that or the kids are secretly unloading their toys into the van at night - you know, in case of a toy emergency or to drive me batty.

Knock Knock Joke from a 3 Year Old

After I picked my daughter up from pre-school, she declared that she was tired. I informed her that we were on our way home, and she could nap when we get there. Satisfied with that answer, my daughter tried to fall asleep in the van.  This would be disasterous for both of us.  It takes us about 15 minutes to arrive home, so she'll sleep all of 5 minutes before waking up when we got home.  Chances of going back to sleep for her? Zero.

To keep her awake, I tried to make her laugh.

Me - "Knock knock"

BoopaLoop - "Who's there?"

Me - "Banana"

BoopaLoop - "Bananya who?"

Me - "Knock knock"

If you are familiar with this joke, then you know you keep repeating this until you sense that the child is sick of hearing you say "Banana".  Then, you finish the joke...

Me - "Knock knock"

BoopaLoop - "Who's there?"

Me - "Orange"

BoopaLoop - "Orange who?"

Me - "Orange you glad I didn't say banana!"

Okay, old joke, but my daughter thought it was funny.  She didn't understand the joke, but it seemed silly to her, so she laughed and that kept her awake.  Mission accomplished!

BoopaLoop - "Mommy? Knock knock."

Me - "Who's there?"

BoopaLoop - "Bananya"

Me - Smiling, "Banana who?"

BoopaLoop - "Bananya fawl down and bonk on your head!" She laughed. I laughed at how funny she thought she was. This was a typical knock knock joke from my children. LittleMan originated the [Noun] bonks on your head version, and both kids thought these jokes were hilarious.

BoopaLoop - "Knock knock"

Me - "Who's there?"

BoopaLoop - "Orange"

Me - Surprised, "Orange who?"

BoopaLoop - "Orange you glad bananya bonk on your head?"

Tears rolled down my face, I was laughing so hard.

How A Child Thinks

There is a very cute baby book called "How Much I Love You". The story revolves around a daddy bunny and his son. Heartwarming bunny conversation ensues.

LittleMan was never a fan of this book, but he's had to suffer through it since it was often read to BoopaLoop. However, the other day at the breakfast table I had this conversation with him.

LittleMan - "Mommy, I love you all the way to here." He puts his hand up to his forehead in a 1/2 salute 1/2 measuring stick gesture.

Me - "Well, I love you all the way to the moon."

LittleMan - Smiling, "Wow, that's really far."

Me - Smiling back, "Yeah."

Music swells. Birds chirp. A magical moment, and I go back to eating my cereal.

LittleMan - "I love you all the way to space."

Me - "Wow, that's really far."

LittleMan - Grinning, "Yeah."

Me - "I love you all the way to the end of the Milky Way."

Some discussion about what the Milky Way is.

LittleMan - "I love you all the way to the robot house."

I tell him that taken literally "to the robot house" has to be really far since we haven't encountered a planet with any robots on it yet.  I know, that's stretching it, but I liked his creativity.

Now, this conversation has clearly lost all of its warm fuzziness and has entered the realm of competition. We are really enjoying ourselves, but I'm hungry and want to eat in some peace. So, I try to think of something that is further than the Milky Way, but that wouldn't require a lot of explanation AND would terminate this conversation - leaving me as the winner, of course.

Me - "I love you all the way to God."

LittleMan - "Where's God?"

Me - "He is all around."

LittleMan - After a little thought, "I love you all the way to the farthest God."

Uh... WINNER!