No Messages = A Good Day

I just watched yet another movie where the protagonist is depicted as an isolated, work-aholic, who has no friends. And, all movies convey this simple fact the same way: protagonist pushes "Play" on answering machine only to hear the mechanical voice say, "You have no messages." How sad! But, I submit it is NOT sad.  Watching the movie, I think, "Wow, that's great!"

In my opinion, if I happen to remember to press the answering machine button and I have no messages, I'm over the moon! No messages means that my work here is done. I have completed my To Do list.  I have left no one hanging. I am done! Even a simple message from a friend saying that they just called to say hi makes me feel like I should call them back just so they know I got the message.  But, what if my friend really only wanted to say hi and had no other purpose in calling? Then, I've called them back only to have them tell me again what they've already said on the machine. See my point?  What do you mean, no?!

Which reminds me of the new way I have of handling telemarketers.

[Phone rings]

Me - "Hello?"

Caller - "Good Day.  Are you the owner of your house?"

Me - Filled with dread, "yes."

Annoying caller - "Do you find that your life has a BIG GAPING HOLE IN IT, AND DO YOU WANT TO PAY MY COMPANY MONEY TO FILL THAT EVER INCREASING, BLACK VOID?!"

Okay, the caller isn't really yelling at me, but this is how it sounds in my head.

Me - "uh, no."

Ever persistant, increasingly annoying, caller - "Ah, but ma'am what about..."

I hand the phone to BoopaLoop.

BoopaLoop - "Hi. I gotz a pwuppy."

My daughter continues to chatter on the phone a while before hitting random buttons on the phone.  I wince, and I hope that the telemarketer has hung up before the blaring BEEP BEEP noises hurt their ears.  Finally, I suggest to BoopaLoop that she say bye and hang up the phone.  After a few more button presses and a garbled bye, she manages to hit the OFF button.

Now, I recognize that telemarketers are people trying to make a living, which is why it is so hard for me to just hang up on them.  I'm a fan of free enterprise.  But, this method allows my daughter to practice the fine art of phone usage, and the telemarketer, hopefully, gets a BIG FAT CLUE and removes me from the list.

Sigh, okay, I'll work on my phone etiquette.