Friday, January 28, 2011

Can You Help A Mom Out?

I'm a morning person.

Me and my brother, All Things BD's hubby, Christmas morning 2010

Others in my family... are not.

The side-effect of being a morning person (aside from the derision of friends and strangers alike) is that by the time the clock strikes 5 PM, I'm beyond done. I'm exhausted. I'm grumpy. I'm useless.

Fortunately, My Mukor takes over the night time duties since he's a night owl. So, our kids live in a perpetual illusion that their parents are happy people.

Until the truth rears its ugly head.

In order to prevent my grumpy Mr. Hyde from taking over, I come up with short cuts that reduce my evening workload. And I get to waste away on my couch.

The children are now old enough that they don't require my hawking attention any longer, so I just yell instructions at them in the hopes they do at least 50% of what I'm saying. "ARE YOUR TEETH BRUSHED?!" "Hurmph.", they garble in unison. I have no idea how good of a job they are doing, but that doesn't matter. THEY are doing it. I am NOT.

In an effort to further efficien-tize the evening getting-ready-for-bed ritual, I have the children shower. They insist on showering together, and I'm okay with it as long as they aren't playing doctor. Most of the time, they require me to get off the comfortable couch to tell them that it is time to end the shower. I turn off the nob, and then sit back down.

I realized that this step of turning off the shower was a waste of my God-given talents. They are perfectly capable of turning off the shower themselves. I just needed to give them proper incentive.

Me - "You have 5 minutes left to shower. If you turn off the shower yourselves, I will give you each thirty cents!"

Children - Chorus of cheers!

As I'm leaving the bedroom feeling very successful in my brilliant incentive plan, I overhear the following:

LittleMan - "I don't care about money. I want to play!"

I need a new plan.


All Things BD said...

Perhaps a kitchen timer is the solution to all your problems? Kinda like in the lab experiments where they ring a bell and the bunny gets shocked, and then the bunny fears bells?

Wait. I might be remembering Behavior Modification incorrectly. I can see where I'm on the wrong side of this one.

Fresh Mommy said...

Hahaha, that is too funny! I'm so completely random. I'm not really a morning person, but not necessarily and evening person either. I kind of dance between the two, lol. And I agree, my daughter likes to take showers by herself... and a timer works to tell her when to get out.