Irresponsibility versus Heartbreak

For a while, my family has been hanging on to the chest-cold-cough for a while. Friends of ours, who have already gone through this illness, say that it is going to take about 6-8 weeks before the coughing will go away. My Mukor and LittleMan are on week 5, and BoopaLoop is on week 4. So far, (knock on wood) I have avoided this round of colds.

My mother is expected to visit tonight. She is driving 3 hours to come stay the weekend. However, at approximately 3 PM today, BoopaLoop started to act lethargic (thanks to Mama DB for the perfect word to describe her condition). Finally, at 6 PM she started to have a fever. I told my son that Grandma probably won't visit since his sister is sick. This news made my son cry. He loves my mom. I believe she is his best friend. Seeing his reaction, breaks my heart.

So, my mother calls to tell me that she is coming, and I DON'T TELL HER that BoopaLoop has a fever. I am afraid she won't come if I tell her.  I am a BAD, BAD person! My Mukor, sitting next to me, asks me why I didn't tell her about BoopaLoop's condition. I sigh, and say because I am a horrible person. In my gut, I know I just didn't want to break my son's heart.

I pick up the phone and call my mother back. I responsiblity inform her of BoopaLoop's fever, and tell her not to come. She thought about it and decided to come anyway. Apparently my desire to not break my son's heart is hereditary. We are hopeless.

The Truth Hurts

My daughter seems to be into everything involving dance at the moment, so I thought it would be fun to expose her to one of my favorite dancing shows, "Riverdance". I started the video curious to see her reaction to it. When we were about 10 minutes into the video and my daughter appeared fully engaged with it, I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the show.

There is one part that has a lot of singing. I asked my children if it was okay for me to fast-forward this part. LittleMan said yes; BoopaLoops said no.

LittleMan - "Why do you want to fast-forward this part, mommy?"

Me - "I think it might be a little boring for you."

LittleMan - [Watches the video a little while] "I don't think it is boring."

I am pleased that my children seemed genuinely interested in this video, so I sat back again to watch.

After a few seconds...

BoopaLoop - "Maybe this video is boring."

She got up and left the room.

Joke

I was playing tennis at the invitation of a friend, and she introduced me to this lovely older gentleman. He introduced himself and then proceeded to tell me a joke. He seemed very friendly and nice, so I put on my best 'interested' face fully expecting to not like this joke. Pretty cynical, huh? Here is the joke he told me:

"A husband and wife were laying in bed one night. He was watching TV, and she was absorbed in a book. While the wife was reading, she was dimly aware that her husband was touching her calf. Soon, he was touching her thigh. Smiling, the wife continued to stare at the book. As his hand inched higher, the wife closed her book, but suddenly, the husband stopped. The wife looked at her husband, "Why did you stop?" The husband said, "What? Oh, I found the remote."

I love it.

How does it happen?

I consider myself a relatively neat person - not Grandma-can-come-over clean but the-kitchen-and-bathroom-are-tidy clean.  However, since the children have come along, our house is now littered with toys, and our backyard looks like 500 children deserted their toys at a playground. But, every few days we do a grand cleaning, and it looks relatively normal again.

What I don't understand is how my van goes from clean to "DID A TORNADO LAND HERE?" in under 60 seconds.

I think I have narrowed down my loss of control of the van cleanliness to one question my children always ask me, "Mom, can I please bring this multi-functional toy with many teeny tiny parts with me?"  And I say, "Of course, as long as you promise to pick up very little teeny tiny piece, arrange it properly back into place, and carry it back into our home."

Oh sure, for a while I'm really good about reminding the kids to bring the toy back into the house.  But, all it takes is that one time I forget, and I guess that's when the build up occurs.

Either that or the kids are secretly unloading their toys into the van at night - you know, in case of a toy emergency or to drive me batty.

Knock Knock Joke from a 3 Year Old

After I picked my daughter up from pre-school, she declared that she was tired. I informed her that we were on our way home, and she could nap when we get there. Satisfied with that answer, my daughter tried to fall asleep in the van.  This would be disasterous for both of us.  It takes us about 15 minutes to arrive home, so she'll sleep all of 5 minutes before waking up when we got home.  Chances of going back to sleep for her? Zero.

To keep her awake, I tried to make her laugh.

Me - "Knock knock"

BoopaLoop - "Who's there?"

Me - "Banana"

BoopaLoop - "Bananya who?"

Me - "Knock knock"

If you are familiar with this joke, then you know you keep repeating this until you sense that the child is sick of hearing you say "Banana".  Then, you finish the joke...

Me - "Knock knock"

BoopaLoop - "Who's there?"

Me - "Orange"

BoopaLoop - "Orange who?"

Me - "Orange you glad I didn't say banana!"

Okay, old joke, but my daughter thought it was funny.  She didn't understand the joke, but it seemed silly to her, so she laughed and that kept her awake.  Mission accomplished!

BoopaLoop - "Mommy? Knock knock."

Me - "Who's there?"

BoopaLoop - "Bananya"

Me - Smiling, "Banana who?"

BoopaLoop - "Bananya fawl down and bonk on your head!" She laughed. I laughed at how funny she thought she was. This was a typical knock knock joke from my children. LittleMan originated the [Noun] bonks on your head version, and both kids thought these jokes were hilarious.

BoopaLoop - "Knock knock"

Me - "Who's there?"

BoopaLoop - "Orange"

Me - Surprised, "Orange who?"

BoopaLoop - "Orange you glad bananya bonk on your head?"

Tears rolled down my face, I was laughing so hard.

How A Child Thinks

There is a very cute baby book called "How Much I Love You". The story revolves around a daddy bunny and his son. Heartwarming bunny conversation ensues.

LittleMan was never a fan of this book, but he's had to suffer through it since it was often read to BoopaLoop. However, the other day at the breakfast table I had this conversation with him.

LittleMan - "Mommy, I love you all the way to here." He puts his hand up to his forehead in a 1/2 salute 1/2 measuring stick gesture.

Me - "Well, I love you all the way to the moon."

LittleMan - Smiling, "Wow, that's really far."

Me - Smiling back, "Yeah."

Music swells. Birds chirp. A magical moment, and I go back to eating my cereal.

LittleMan - "I love you all the way to space."

Me - "Wow, that's really far."

LittleMan - Grinning, "Yeah."

Me - "I love you all the way to the end of the Milky Way."

Some discussion about what the Milky Way is.

LittleMan - "I love you all the way to the robot house."

I tell him that taken literally "to the robot house" has to be really far since we haven't encountered a planet with any robots on it yet.  I know, that's stretching it, but I liked his creativity.

Now, this conversation has clearly lost all of its warm fuzziness and has entered the realm of competition. We are really enjoying ourselves, but I'm hungry and want to eat in some peace. So, I try to think of something that is further than the Milky Way, but that wouldn't require a lot of explanation AND would terminate this conversation - leaving me as the winner, of course.

Me - "I love you all the way to God."

LittleMan - "Where's God?"

Me - "He is all around."

LittleMan - After a little thought, "I love you all the way to the farthest God."

Uh... WINNER!