Monday, December 8, 2008


I got this definition of friendship from Wikipedia.

"Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them."

That last sentence made me sad. To think that some people expect nothing more from their friends than a trust that they will not be harmed.

I have few people I would call friends. Not because I'm not likable but because I expect to be there for every one of them. I just wouldn't have enough energy to have tons and tons of friends as some people aspire to. No thank you. I like having my small circle of friends to be able to drop everything for - whatever the occasion, and I'm blessed that my friends do more than "do me no harm".

There has been an occasion or two where someone who I might have called friend made me feel badly about myself, and I had to make the hard decision to no longer give that person my time or effort.

Someone once told me, "Why be friends with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself?"


To me, friendship is being passionate about your friend's passion, yelling at a random stranger when an injustice has fallen on a friend, or having your friend's back when the chips have fallen (whatever that means).

I never question a friend's motives unless they have asked me to. I have faith in my ability to pick great friends to assume the best about them rather than question their actions.

Otherwise, what a sad world I would live in.


DJ said...

That is a kind of depressing last sentence. :(
I give a lot more than that to my friends (and I expect the same in return) otherwise you're not really being a friend, according to how I think of friendship.

Tabitha Blue said...

I agree with you... that does seem pretty sad. What a well written and though evoking post. I'm truly blessed and thankful for my friends, and believe that they can feel that way about me too, because I can be a true friend to them :)

Tabitha Blue said...

Oh, yeah, and in answer to your question... we're Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy fans. There are a few others thrown in too, like The Office. ;)