Thanks to all of you for your well wishes. I'm in pretty great spirits considering. I'm still able to take my kids to and from school, I can still help with homework, and I can still push the button on the dishwasher. Life is manageable. I just wish I could taste my food!
Anyway, I'm feeling a little guilty about going over to a friend's house for a playdate today. I was given permission to come over in my goopy state, but I believe if I were truly a selfless person, I would have declined the invitation. I was almost that person. Almost. I got as far as asking if my son could go over without me. I asked LittleMan if that was cool. I had everything lined up... but at the last second I couldn't bring myself to leave him in a home I had never checked out personally before.
Oh sure, I asked all of the obvious questions of the seemingly normal mom: do you have any guns, do you have any ferocious beasts, do you have any illegal drugs, or hypodermic needles lying around? I kid you not. I asked these questions of her verbatim. She laughed at me, and I was laughing at myself - but I still felt better. I don't know what I would expect from someone who actually would say "Yes" to any of these questions. Would they say yes? Would an obvious LIAR button appear on their forehead if they didn't? Whatever. I asked the stupid questions, and infected a bunch of children with my germs anyway.
So, in order to make myself feel better, I infected small children.
Please send all complaints to my mother, for she raised me.