I desperately need counseling

I don't need marriage counseling.

I don't need family counseling.

I don't need personal counseling.

... or maybe I do, but let's not pull at that thread right now.

The counseling I might be willing to accept that I need is to repair the relationship between my Wii Fit and myself.

We had a beautiful beginning. It was love at first sight. We had a connection. Granted, that connection was with my brother's Wii Fit, but that's not the point. The point is that I wanted one. And I wanted one NOW.

I came home from my brief affair with the Wii Fit in Texas, and I immediately demanded one of my very own. When My Mukor arrived with it, it was just as beautiful as I remembered it being: the sleek design, the mutual respect, the fact that it made me want to be a better person.

Then I started to use it.

That is when it let me down.

I mean, I EXCEL at the balance sports. My Mukor refuses to even challenge my dominance in this area. (My highest score on the soccer game is 555.) But this beautiful piece of machinery continually makes demands on me that I can't meet. At all. Not even a little.

Let me give you an example. It wants me to do the Yoga Tree Pose. Seriously. For those of you unfamiliar with this position, let me show you a picture of what I'm supposed to look like.

Well guess what, I don't look anything like that. Tilt this picture 90 degrees to the right, and THAT'S what I look like. I would have taken a picture of me attempting to do this pose, but I don't stay vertical long enough to take a blasted picture!

It doesn't look hard, does it? I mean, it is just one little leg resting on another. But, I, for the life of me, can't figure out a way to stay balanced like this.

It is maddening, and it is beginning to hurt my relationship with my Wii Fit.

I tried NOT doing the pose, but then it just sits there... in the options menu... looking at me. I refuse to give up on something that I KNOW I can do. For crying out loud, it isn't that hard!!

Except it is the one pose that eludes me. It is frustrating. And I won't stand for it!

...

... and I'm going to go try again right now.